kiddos

hi. my head is throbbing these few days. i think i'm getting a bit krazy [than before]. dislike christina perri's a thousand years in sudden. everytime radio plays it,in less than 3 seconds i've successfully turned it off. used to love that song to the core but now it's been the otherwise. mdfk,i'm really krazy these lately. something wrong with my brain LOL. let's make something clear. i'm not angry or whatever it is being called. i just don't really like people who hunch words just as a blowing-wind. you should be responsible of what has come out from your mouth. enough said.
now i'm getting confused with the stuffs. how can i move everything in one time only? and the worst part is i haven't prepared anything yet,bravo. two big trunks still aren't enough i guess. somebody help me. please?
apparently,i'm still not strong enough to listen to hubbub songs. if you get what i mean,kthanksbye


"smile is the best reaction for all situations."

sick with my hair's color -.-

the most hubbub girl
novia wongso
stalk her @noviawongso 

the most kamseupay boy
sensen
stalk him @StevennWuu

and this is the cutest girl
debie verdiana halim
stalk her @DebieVerdiana

let's see what will happen when these three catch this post,byebye :p

escapism of an escapist

hi! i'm so so excited with august and feel like can't wait anymore. i have my own reason why i wish "please be a bit sooner". will start working on 1st of august. idk why i'm so over excited. will it just in the beginning,for a week only,a month? or maybe my laziness has been totally trashed away indeed hoho. big fams will reach medan soon and going to meet and have a duet with ma' bro! way too excited yet will feel so sad for sure. going to move out soonly. i should prepare everything i need. start from my daily-used stuffs till the things i need for my college later. will miss mom's dishes,surely! maybe this is the best way to make myself for being an independent. yes besties keep blabbering me about this. i need to be an independent girl as soon as possible. and a bit girly maybe. too many people had critized me with "you're too fierce" "is your smile so expensive?" i need to change very very soon. being mixed in a big society ain't that easy and simple. i should add a wider smile on my face,like really. and be a bit friendly to strangers? -.-

em,fedrik will come back this month but edwin is going to leave soon. really miss these two boys. they're the best besties ever! need to spend more times with them. and hell kinda miss school so bad. life will be so hard after you're graduated LOL. and it's so damn true. 

anyway,i don't like if the things which i've tombed deeply being digged again. some people do this to me though i know it's unconsciously. i think nothing else matters to me anymore. it should be like this and i should strenghten myself more than before,i guess hahahaha. the less you give a fuck,the happier you will be. the best quote to bring you to a better life. promises are just shits and that's all :)

"keep heart free from hate and keep mind free from worry."

suffocate me

hi. so messed by the dopey maid. found my white levis shirt and white ttop were being submerged with bayclin. dafuq were faded with something red. this ain't the first time she did it. gotta make some deal with her tomorrow. i wish i could punch her in the face!!!
well,it's thursday,time passed so fast but i'm really glad of it. the faster it passed,the more it gladden me so. be cured of my new bad habit. slept at 4 woke up at 12. though 8 hours of sleep,still ain't enough for me and won't ever be enough. a sleep-addict. being so wilt,can barely stand in less than 10 minutes. everything became black and i need something to be leant on. 2 pills of panadol still haven't cured me.
actually i have things to type and tell but after i thought for times..............decided not to do it. it will be so offensive hahahaha!
took apart of my wardrobe and i found these stuffs. it is way too too too untidy. probably,it needs hours to tidy it up. yet seems no need to heed it bcause i'll take out my stuffs soonly and bring them out from this house. gonna miss my bedroom specially ma' genuses so so muchieee :( way too lazy to tell about that thing,maybe next time. byeeee! 


i bought this at sg weeks ago. ever caught the thought so many times to smash it till it's broken but in truth always ended up with "mission cancelled" hahahaha. and finally,it's been arrived to its real owner :) 

IF i were a good one at drawing lol! credit to Jeffry Kenanga.

some random stuffs :)

hihihoho

hi. i wish i were a boy. if you know what i mean. this tummy ain't good to me. damn! :( have just finished the placement test at college. well i think i won't pass the test. lame me for being so stupid hiks. lazy to read the reading so i circled randomly. bad at writing and the whole sentences were so disordered. why am i so bad at tenses? used to be always truant from course and i regret now.
i'm so confused by work and college. mom keep telling me to prepare everything for college while i'm so sick being at home all day long,get nothing to do and i do really want to work. earn some money by myself. show that i'm autonomous already lol. feel kinda bored like now,just lazying in front of lappie for hours. sleep late and wake up late everyday. somehow i should enjoy it while i can hoho. cyaaa!


"don't cry bcause it's over,smile bcause it happened."


"in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life,it goes on."




"life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
ignore the cream aight! :p

vanity teen

hello. aiming to get tanner skin yet totally burnt. currently my skin is so pathetic,reddish and sore. rub hazeline on my face everyday before it's getting worse. suddenly i miss school,friends,all those fun moments. miss wearing uniforms. been few months i didn't touch any stationery,books and now i can barely write lol. researching chiko's photos and here are my favorites. idk what to type anymore,some quotes will describe things out,byeeee


"i thought i could start over. but actually there's no starting over. no matter where i go,whatever i do,my past seems to follow me."


"i've been acting like i'm okay,but i'm not. they say it's a broken heart......but i hurt in my whole body."


"you say i always bet against you. not this time. i'm all in."


"just because i give up doesn't mean i don't love you."

kick the woebegone

hi. life is prettay with foods. i eat too much everyday though i realize it's not good for my flank. yes i've been over-greedy for a week. some said that i'm lucky. i eat whatever and whenever i want to. no need to worry about my weight. don't need to think and get stressed of diet schedule. don't need to do exercise to sink potbelly. eat like a hog monster and gain no weight. but i don't wish any for being like this. i still wonder where the hell were all the foods which had been swallowed? no answer,as always hahaha.
now i know that i shouldn't put my happiness based on my expectation. bcause when unpredictable things come and ruin everything you've expected,they will seize your happiness away with them,in a time. i hope i can take mine back even it should take long times :)
anyway,someone has sent me text about "how to reach happiness". 10 points to go:

1. release all the apprehensives & all the fears
2. throw revenge word away
3. stop complaint
4. finish problems one by one
5. don't bring your problems to sleep
6. don't mind others' business
7. live the present not the past
8. be a good listener & learn from others
9. think positive
10. plant thankfulness

they're all quite difficult to be done,seriously? July is waiting,no wishing lists,just be a better month than this naughty June. i also hope that i really end my status for being an unemployment,very soon. somehow i can feel deadly bored,passing my days through eating and sleeping. i hope everything will be heavenly much better and maybe ...? quite impossible but yes i hope so :)

"all the art of living lies in a fine mingling of holding on and letting go."

"it's not the goodbye that hurts,but the flashbacks that follow."

a tale to remember

hi. i was dumbfounded by those remarks. i just feel so wow to people who have the heart to tell out kind
of those harsh remarks. all things they did and said were just a sham. the most dulled action in this whole
world is lying. whoever you lying to,in truth you're lying to yourself. it won't affect others,you deprave yourself anyway. truly right,isn't it?☺
i know i've typed about this for times but now i make a changing. i used to call it as a sweetdream but not again. let's change it with murderingdream :( i keep dreaming over the same things continuously. the worst feeling ever,each morning,when you're awake.
em idk how long those things keep stucking in my mind but i don't want to force myself to chase them away. i know it won't work and just waste my energy.what i should do now is learning how to keep everything just for myself. it's not about what i didn't feel yet what i didn't show. and some people should learn how to be responsible of what they've promised. what people really need is only one,to be needed. idk what's going on with everyone,silly!
actually i got so many things to type but i should realize this is onlineeee. so,some of the things i should keep them up. i've gotten so many things which has taught me yet i need to learn more more and more.
wish everyone have a good day! ☺


"when bad things happen,the lesson is to not let it change your heart."


"people will forget what you said,people will forget what you did,but they will never forget how you made them feel."

dumb enough

 hi. how's life? mine is totally messed and ruined. idk what had happened anymore. my wish hasn't been granted yet. things getting worse each day. why? why me? why it happened to me? why should be me? no one can answer my question. yes,no one can help me out. no one can cheer me. everything goes fucked up. idc what people said abt me. you think i'm not tired of being hubbub like this? i just wish i could improve what i've ruined. my sorry can't heal anything.....so lol -.-

sickening away

hi. everything seems so wrong. both sweetdream and nightmare were sickening me away. it's just happened in dream and i only can have that truly wide smile through it. smiled when i was dreaming and weeped when i was awake. yes it's exist in my sweetdream only. never thought that it could be like this. never imagined. no one can guess out the things.
my whole body is recovered already from the painful of walking too much in four days. skipped hollywood farewell part and had a short holiday at spore. i was dull messed bcause my ipod's screen is CRACK. you have no idea how i was ruined when i saw the crack :'(
em,my brain finally can work and i can think about maturity things a bit. slowly but sure. well,i think it's been more than enough. 17 years leaning on people around and i'm tired of being called "anak mami". time to stand up by self and show them that i can be one till people who ever spurned me will lick and clean up their own mouth lol,byeee.