crumple

the only thing i'm good at is destroying myself, by:

1. having a high expectation (they said) 
2. paying too much attention at one sucked thing that doesn't worth, even just a measly of it
3. over reacting at haps
4. do think a lot abt others, always try to yield with some till they forget to do their turn towards me
5. always have negative feelings of everything
6. always ends up blaming myself like "i'm always fucking things up, always."
7. have the feeling of "i didn't really want to kill myself, but i kind of did."
8. being so often to deal with "it's ok anyway, i'm getting used to it."
9. my mood swings, i can go from being happy to depressed in a matter of seconds
10. having to repeat "yeah, i'm fine, just tired" continuously thru out the day

you just can't imagine what's happening inside my head and how my mind works with its way, over thinking of everything which always leads me to be so mad. feeling as a dead who is breathing lately.

                            

weird-o

for seriously, found two things that burst out the hell of me, a cute logo that suits me so.

and these sentences....

lolbye!

being vulnerable

this picture describes everything. nuff said.

a blast

im not kind of a smoothie or romantic or whatever u call it. just being so random for someone who is turning 20. love him to the bones :P♥

heavenly

nothing is better than these :

cikk mann ☺♥

only once in ur life, i truly believe, u find someone who can completely turn ur world around. u tell them things that u’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything u say and actually want to hear more. u share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at u. when something wonderful happens, u can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in ur excitement. they are not embarrassed to cry with u when u are hurting or laugh with u when u make a fool of urself. never do they hurt ur feelings or make u feel like u are not good enough, but rather they build u up and show u the things about urself that make u special and even beautiful. there is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. u can be urself and not worry about what they will think of u because they love u for who u are. the things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. memories of ur childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. colours seem brighter and more brilliant. laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. a phone call or two during the day helps to get u through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to ur face. in their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but u find u’re quite content in just having them nearby. things that never interested u before become fascinating because u know they are important to this person who is so special to u. u think of this person on every occasion and in everything u do. simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. u open ur heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening ur heart, u experience a love and joy that u never dreamed possible. u find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow ur heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares u. u find strength in knowing u will probably have a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. ur only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of ur life. 

short lovely speech :P

https://soundcloud.com/steventaketa/by-my-side-happy-6th-month

"i went to sleep last night with a smile because i knew i'd be dreaming of u.... but i woke up this morning with a smile because u weren't a dream." - L'LYS

annoying asker

"ur worst day of ur life is when u go to the wrong class period. my worst day of my life is being told i might have cancer. ur worst fear is to be embrassed in front of the whole school. mine is dying without telling people how i really fell and dying regretting something. u complain abt how bad ur food taster. i'm happy i can finally eat and keep it down. i have so many reasons to look at the down side but yet i look at the bright side. u have so many reasons to look at the bright side but yet u look at the down side. u should change that. cause life is a whole lot better looking at the bright side."
these sentences actually mean a lot and someone might say this to me so that i can feel a bit grateful for what i have now and stop complaining thru the days. but yet, people can't ever get satisfied. who to blame then?

doldrums

got nothing to do and eyes were caught at a random website which explain the phrase of broken-hearted. i found its quite true and funny. so...... here it is

                                     

                                      

                                      

                   

                                     

                 

bye!