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29 Okt 2013


the only thing i'm good at is destroying myself, by:

  1. having a high expectation (they said) 
  2. paying too much attention at one sucked thing that doesn't worth, even just a measly of it
  3. over reacting at haps
  4. do think a lot abt others, always try to yield with some till they forget to do their turn towards me
  5. always have negative feelings of everything
  6. always ends up blaming myself like "i'm always fucking things up, always."
  7. have the feeling of "i didn't really want to kill myself, but i kind of did."
  8. being so often to deal with "it's ok anyway, i'm getting used to it."
  9. my mood swings, i can go from being happy to depressed in a matter of seconds
  10. having to repeat "yeah, i'm fine, just tired" continuously thru out the day
you just can't imagine what's happening inside my head and how my mind works with its way, over thinking of everything which always leads me to be so mad. feeling as a dead who is breathing lately.


6 Okt 2013


for seriously, found two things that burst out the hell of me, a cute logo that suits me so.
and these sentences....


6 Jun 2013

annoying asker

"ur worst day of ur life is when u go to the wrong class period. my worst day of my life is being told i might have cancer. ur worst fear is to be embrassed in front of the whole school. mine is dying without telling people how i really fell and dying regretting something. u complain abt how bad ur food taster. i'm happy i can finally eat and keep it down. i have so many reasons to look at the down side but yet i look at the bright side. u have so many reasons to look at the bright side but yet u look at the down side. u should change that. cause life is a whole lot better looking at the bright side."
these sentences actually mean a lot and someone might say this to me so that i can feel a bit grateful for what i have now and stop complaining thru the days. but yet, people can't ever get satisfied. who to blame then?

31 Mei 2013


got nothing to do and eyes were caught at a random website which explain the phrase of broken-hearted. i found its quite true and funny. so...... here it is








29 Mei 2013

nothing seems right

so hi. i'm in a terribly messed mood. everyone is sickening me off nowadays. people around me are like transforming into a flock of irritating beings, no exception. everything i do, whatever i say, they seem like something which are smelled so icky. those nights where i have second thoughts about everything and nothing feels right anymore. when nothing seems enough, when the world feels like its falling apart, when i feel no one there. what a pathetic life i'm living in, so yeah i hope my parents will stop deem me as a 5 years old kiddo. big sigh for these days.

the difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. - Mark Twain

26 Mei 2013

dumb ass

hi. again,i left this blog. it's so hollow now. another escapement when i feel hubbub only. when i try to review everything i've ever posted, 95% of them are abt dampen things. things i have are way too pathetic for being owned by me and everything seems so dead now. i even lost all the words i want to type just now. fml

1 Mei 2013

enchanting feeling

head begins to spin, heart beats faster than usual, yet u feel ur pulse missing. this is a sign of falling in love. many find love is a funny feeling that causes butterflies to fly in ur stomach and spend sleepless nights without having to feel drowsy the next day. nothing seems right, yet nothing ever seems to go wrong. u find urself smiling and begin to lose ur real self. u look in the mirror, but u don't find urself there. it is that man who stole ur heart smiling back at u, teasing u.

"love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker."

Cute Running Puppy