31 Jul 2012

je veux le meilleur

hi. ought to learn how to prepare everything by myself. being forced in a certain condition will make you change. distressed part ever,there will be no one that gotta do it for me anymore :( it used to be mom. no blabbers from her,no spoiling to her will make my days worse to the gist,no doubt at all. a short sentence which is extremely true. life outside of school is hard. thought it would be a pleasuring freedom seemingly totally wrong. could i be forever student? when the things i need to worried about were study,homeworks and tests only. so unwilling to be apart from my lovely bed and its friends. gonna miss my four beloved loves,seriously. got another chance for not having any distance from everything which has been stuck so tight with me. yet keep going and never quit for something you think is good for yourself. be an independent and stop depending on others. don't stress yourself with unnecessary things,in truth they're totally so not worth it. in other case,i'm not a dulled-selfish. i want people around me get the best for themselves and i get my own gladness of it. not an ordinary one-unspoken sentiment. and start from now on,i will carry out things which gotta lead me to contentment. won't really give damns anymore,give my widest smile to the loudest laugh.
anyway,edwin has left medan. so deplored for not having any quality taim with him. wishing many lucks for this dirty best pal.
suddenly feel interested with french hahaha. wishing everyone has a good day. au revoir! :)

"the more you grow up,the more shit things you will understand about life and also the more sucks people you'll meet in it."

"keep head held high and middle finger even higher."

28 Jul 2012

mad me

life is over complicated and dumbie regret always comes late. blame myself for being too kiddo thinking. don't think about what are the positive and negative sides of doing things. people get misunderstand easily. never thought about it at all. call me stupid but i'm not that stupid enough for sacrificing people who truly care about me just for a so not important one. they don't get what i mean and am buried in this dulled position. i just don't want to have enemy and keep everything fine. kay tell me who on this earth doesn't have enemy? if we can do to make it less,why don't we do? honestly i feel so pissed off for being too simple-minded. need to focus on things which are worther my energy and thoughts. i do really hope this is the very last. sick for burdening them already :(

"being single and profesionally successful holds more importance than getting entangled in personal relations."

27 Jul 2012


the saddest feeling ever,watching people you used to know very well had turned to be wicked. i still can't believe and bcause of it i should emphasize myself off from what i really want this long. what a very big S I G H.
anyway,idk whether i will keep posting or gonna stop for a long time. packed half of my things in 2 big trunks and rightly hell they are still not enough. how i wish i could move out my wardrobe directly. busy days will come soon. 4 days to work and wish me so so many lucks. i should change my sleep schedule immediately. god bless everyone and also me indeed. pathetic for emphasizing myself off from what i've been really craving. sad? indescribeable. bye :(

22 Jul 2012

significant meaning

hi. sometimes i can feel life is kinda boring. when you passed the days by the same activities all over again. kiddos go to school,have courses,study and do homework everyday. teenagers go to college to achieve a major,some go to work to earn experiences,spend time with friends. adults go to work,look for some money for their family. decrepits spend most of their time at home,have a visit to their children's house,spend some times with their grandchildren and crudely said that they're waiting for their predestined hour of death.
life is more boring than its own word means. some are worth being spent the time with ; some are worth the sore ; some just stopped by to gave you memories,reminiscences,slaps,footsteps and wounds. that's life.
life is hard. it's not as easy as it may seems. ups and downs are so common. the case is the way you choose to enjoy that boring. how you can see through it and make yourself feel your own contentment of yours. occasionally i wish i could be a previleged. gratefully said my life is splendid so far though barriers will always hunt. and how wicked people act to you,you don't have to hate or do revenge. trust it,somebody at somewhere will pay it for you. humans don't fear of wicked people but they fear of kind ones. be a forgiving and kind-hearted. enjoy,smile and watch.
by the way,i need to hold out the desire of giving a high five hahaha. i know i can get through this. sick of these files,i think i should go back to school for times to have my files legalized well. nuff,God bless all wicked people in this whole world,specially......:)

20 Jul 2012


hi. my head is throbbing these few days. i think i'm getting a bit krazy [than before]. dislike christina perri's a thousand years in sudden. everytime radio plays it,in less than 3 seconds i've successfully turned it off. used to love that song to the core but now it's been the otherwise. mdfk,i'm really krazy these lately. something wrong with my brain LOL. let's make something clear. i'm not angry or whatever it is being called. i just don't really like people who hunch words just as a blowing-wind. you should be responsible of what has come out from your mouth. enough said.
now i'm getting confused with the stuffs. how can i move everything in one time only? and the worst part is i haven't prepared anything yet,bravo. two big trunks still aren't enough i guess. somebody help me. please?
apparently,i'm still not strong enough to listen to hubbub songs. if you get what i mean,kthanksbye

"smile is the best reaction for all situations."

sick with my hair's color -.-

the most hubbub girl
novia wongso
stalk her @noviawongso 
the most kamseupay boy
stalk him @StevennWuu
and this is the cutest girl
debie verdiana halim
stalk her @DebieVerdiana

let's see what will happen when these three catch this post,byebye :p

16 Jul 2012

escapism of an escapist

hi! i'm so so excited with august and feel like can't wait anymore. i have my own reason why i wish "please be a bit sooner". will start working on 1st of august. idk why i'm so over excited. will it just in the beginning,for a week only,a month? or maybe my laziness has been totally trashed away indeed hoho. big fams will reach medan soon and going to meet and have a duet with ma' bro! way too excited yet will feel so sad for sure. going to move out soonly. i should prepare everything i need. start from my daily-used stuffs till the things i need for my college later. will miss mom's dishes,surely! maybe this is the best way to make myself for being an independent. yes besties keep blabbering me about this. i need to be an independent girl as soon as possible. and a bit girly maybe. too many people had critized me with "you're too fierce" "is your smile so expensive?" i need to change very very soon. being mixed in a big society ain't that easy and simple. i should add a wider smile on my face,like really. and be a bit friendly to strangers? -.-
em,fedrik will come back this month but edwin is going to leave soon. really miss these two boys. they're the best besties ever! need to spend more times with them. and hell kinda miss school so bad. life will be so hard after you're graduated LOL. and it's so damn true. 
anyway,i don't like if the things which i've tombed deeply being digged again. some people do this to me though i know it's unconsciously. i think nothing else matters to me anymore. it should be like this and i should strenghten myself more than before,i guess hahahaha. the less you give a fuck,the happier you will be. the best quote to bring you to a better life. promises are just shits and that's all :)

"keep heart free from hate and keep mind free from worry."

12 Jul 2012

suffocate me

hi. so messed by the dopey maid. found my white levis shirt and white ttop were being submerged with bayclin. dafuq were faded with something red. this ain't the first time she did it. gotta make some deal with her tomorrow. i wish i could punch her in the face!!!
well,it's thursday,time passed so fast but i'm really glad of it. the faster it passed,the more it gladden me so. be cured of my new bad habit. slept at 4 woke up at 12. though 8 hours of sleep,still ain't enough for me and won't ever be enough. a sleep-addict. being so wilt,can barely stand in less than 10 minutes. everything became black and i need something to be leant on. 2 pills of panadol still haven't cured me.
actually i have things to type and tell but after i thought for times..............decided not to do it. it will be so offensive hahahaha!
took apart of my wardrobe and i found these stuffs. it is way too too too untidy. probably,it needs hours to tidy it up. yet seems no need to heed it bcause i'll take out my stuffs soonly and bring them out from this house. gonna miss my bedroom specially ma' genuses so so muchieee :( way too lazy to tell about that thing,maybe next time. byeeee! 

i bought this at sg weeks ago. ever caught the thought so many times to smash it till it's broken but in truth always ended up with "mission cancelled" hahahaha. and finally,it's been arrived to its real owner :) 

IF i were a good one at drawing lol! credit to Jeffry Kenanga.

some random stuffs :)

7 Jul 2012


hi. i wish i were a boy. if you know what i mean. this tummy ain't good to me. damn! :( have just finished the placement test at college. well i think i won't pass the test. lame me for being so stupid hiks. lazy to read the reading so i circled randomly. bad at writing and the whole sentences were so disordered. why am i so bad at tenses? used to be always truant from course and i regret now.
i'm so confused by work and college. mom keep telling me to prepare everything for college while i'm so sick being at home all day long,get nothing to do and i do really want to work. earn some money by myself. show that i'm autonomous already lol. feel kinda bored like now,just lazying in front of lappie for hours. sleep late and wake up late everyday. somehow i should enjoy it while i can hoho. cyaaa!

"don't cry bcause it's over,smile bcause it happened."

"in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life,it goes on."

"life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
ignore the cream aight! :p

5 Jul 2012

vanity teen

hello. aiming to get tanner skin yet totally burnt. currently my skin is so pathetic,reddish and sore. rub hazeline on my face everyday before it's getting worse. suddenly i miss school,friends,all those fun moments. miss wearing uniforms. been few months i didn't touch any stationery,books and now i can barely write lol. researching chiko's photos and here are my favorites. idk what to type anymore,some quotes will describe things out,byeeee

"i thought i could start over. but actually there's no starting over. no matter where i go,whatever i do,my past seems to follow me."

"i've been acting like i'm okay,but i'm not. they say it's a broken heart......but i hurt in my whole body."

"you say i always bet against you. not this time. i'm all in."

"just because i give up doesn't mean i don't love you."

Cute Running Puppy